Media morons in the past have questioned whether Adlai Stevenson could have been President of the United States. Half seriously, they have asked in effect, “Wasn’t the man too articulate for his own good?” Real men, er, real Presidents, don’t write, and they speak in John Wayne-style monosyllables. Exhibit A sits in the Oval Office today.
Well, perhaps writing about man-eating fish isn’t the same as writing about Iraq. But going simply by descriptive ability, I woudn’t mind having a certain dead President reincarnated and back in the White House. I’ll reveal his name later. Meanwhile see if you can guess who wrote the piranha-related passage below–for a book you can read for free from Project Gutenberg:
Most predatory fish are long and slim, like the alligator-gar and pickerel. But the piranha is a short, deep-bodied fish, with a blunt face and a heavily undershot or projecting lower jaw which gapes widely. The razor-edged teeth are wedge-shaped like a shark’s, and the jaw muscles possess great power. The rabid, furious snaps drive the teeth through flesh and bone. The head with its short muzzle, staring malignant eyes, and gaping, cruelly armed jaws, is the embodiment of evil ferocity; and the actions of the fish exactly match its looks. I never witnessed an exhibition of such impotent, savage fury as was shown by the piranhas as they flapped on deck. When fresh from the water and thrown on the boards they uttered an extraordinary squealing sound. As they flapped about they bit with vicious eagerness at whatever presented itself. One of them flapped into a cloth and seized it with a bulldog grip. Another grasped one of its fellows; another snapped at a piece of wood, and left the teeth-marks deep therein.
Answer: Theodore Roosevelt, author of Through the Brazilian Wilderness, written in 1914, five years after he left the White House for the second time. Often the prose is like a tropical forest, overgrown, and Teddy repeats himself a tad too frequently; but many decades later, this book still shows life.
Question: Is the Wikipedia a little too easy on the piranha in saying that human attacks happen seldomly? At least in places and on various occasions, the piranha loves human flesh, if you by the Roosevelt book, which comes with abundant specifics. I am a big fan of the Wikipedia, but would welcome a definitive answer–short of having contributors visit the tropics and stick their toes in the rivers down there.
