Happy Valley News reports that reading programs are being eliminated at Amherst area elementary schools:
The Amherst School Committee voted (4-1) on Monday to eliminate math and reading from the Elementary School Curriculum due to budget shortfalls. “Due to Amherst’s current budget crisis, we are being forced to cut back,” explained Amherst School Committee Chair James Graham. “We felt that we just could not afford to lose our focus on art and music, so something had to go.” Mr. Graham insisted the programs would not be missed. “In today’s Internet age, reading and math are not as important as clicking, so we’ve adapted the curriculum to reflect that. More clicking, less reading, that’s our motto.” Mr. Graham did acknowledge that the schools would retain the popular and successful RIF (Reading is Fundamental) program, with some updating for the 21st Century. “We’re still using it, only RIF now stands for Reading is Fairly important.” As for math, Mr. Graham believes kids are getting enough at home. “Our students are already adept at knowing precisely how many pedestrians they must run over before leveling up in Grand Theft Auto, and you can’t tell me that doesn’t take some math skill.”
This news report is a joke, much like the articles in “The Onion.” It shouldn’t be taken seriously. At the very least I am suspicious of the source and won’t get too worked up about the article.
I have to admit, though, that it sounds pretty close to being real, even for a humor piece.
Hi, Jon. Even before noticing your note a moment ago, I added “Humor alert.” I agree with your call. The TeleBlog reaches people globally, and some may not understand English well enough to spot the humor. The credibility of the blog—among all groups of readers—must come first. That said, I think Robert’s piece was a hoot. David
I was quite alarmed, then took a second look and found the humor. It was pretty imaginative and well-written. As I said previously, the scary thing is that I could almost see it happening. I mean, look at how much schools rely on Cable TV and videos now. Back when I was in school we watched a movie once in a while as a special treat. Now, TVs come standard in most classrooms.
To be honest, I was surprised that Teleread didn’t include a comment stating that ebooks would help relieve this school’s fictional budget problems. But, of course, it is a humor article.
Jon, I agree with your suggestion re the budget end. Maybe it would have come at the end.
By the way, I’ll be dong a set of guidelines for TeleBlog writers in the near future and will try to address the issue of humorous posts. We want them—but in context. Meanwhile I won’t beat up on Robert; no guideline existed to guide him.
Thanks,
David
No, I didn’t mean anything negative via my comment. Just wanted to warn anybody who read it and took it at face value. I think that there is a lot of potential for humor in the tech industry.
For example, you’ve got to wonder where people come up with the names for new services on the web. Some of them are hilarious if you look at them outside the context of the Internet.
Of course, back when the Internet was young I’m sure that a lotta people thought that “Yahoo!” was a nonsensical name for a company, but now its a household name.