ipad_mini4Trigger warning: Snark. Anti-Apple snark. For those sensitive souls out there whose delicate intellectual faculties are upset by double meanings or anything more than good simple honest say-what-you-mean cracker-barrel truisms, be warned: This article will engage in irony. Sarcasm. Satire. Burlesque. Word play. Invective. Double entendre (yes, and maybe even Frenchness too).

Yes, it seems poor underdog Samsung may be feeling the tablet heat for not having enough 4:3ishness. That magic Apple special sauce (special Apple sauce?), like the extra .9 inch on the iPad Mini, that is so obviously the secret of the iPad’s success. And needed such innovation smarts to create. No wonder, (sort of) reports SamMobile, that poor suffering Samsung decided it just couldn’t compete and had to borrow the Emperor’s new clothes for a bit.

Is there any point, though? After all, Apple even invented the 4:3 ratio. Well, for a handheld. Digital device. Tabletish thing. Give it up, Skynet. Game over, HAL 9000. With those creative super-brains at Apple, even AI just hasn’t got a hope. Never mind Samsung.

Next: Apple patents Golden Section. Apple IP lawyers sent to serve infringement notices on nautiluses and spiral arm galaxies.


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