'Introducing the book'

The video satire above is fun. Here is another alternative satire that I would like to see. It is set in a world where e-book readers (like the ebookwise-1150 (rocketbook)) have been in wide use for many years. An inventor comes up with the notion of a paper book for the first time. The “Neophyte” character has just been introduced to the new paper book (p-book).

Neophyte: Hi. This new p-book is wonderful. It is beautiful, and the construction shows such fine craftsmanship. But I am having a few problems. First, how do I access all the other texts? I have looked all over for the button or slider switch that will change the text displayed on the pages? (He lifts the book up and down.) It is somewhat hefty. I suppose that there must be several thousand texts available for perusal. Correct?

P-Book Inventor: Well. The number of different texts available is somewhat limited.

Neophyte: Really?

P-Book Inventor: Well. Yes, there is actually just one text that you can read with a particular p-book. (Pause) Only one. (Pause) It does allow one to concentrate more effectively I think.

Neophyte: Hmm. OK. That is somewhat disappointing. But let me show you another problem I am having. See this word. (He points at a word on the page.) I am not quite able to remember what it means. Now watch. (He repeatedly taps the word on the page.) See! The dictionary look-up is not working! It does not display the definition.

P-Book Inventor: Yes. Well. It is not really suppose to be able to display the definition. You need to use a separate p-book for that.

Neophyte: Isn’t that somewhat inconvenient?

P-Book Inventor: Perhaps. Well. Not really. It does give one wonderful exercise to walk over to a shelf and get another p-book. (Pause) Doesn’t the p-book smell wonderful?

Neophyte: Yes it does! And everyone does need exercise. But I do have another concern. While I was reading this p-book on page 249 a character reappeared. Unfortunately I had forgotten many details about the character. I didn’t even remember her profession. Of course, I wanted to search backward through the text using the character name. (Sheepishly) Everybody does that. (He flips the book and spins it around with annoyance.) Where is the blasted search function?

P-Book Inventor: (Clears throat) The p-book does not quite have a search function. But some p-books do have something called an index that is great, and it works similar to a search function. Hmm. (Looks at p-book) This p-book is a novel and has no index.

Neophyte: I see. That is …. Hmmm.

P-Book Inventor: I think that all of us should be working to improve our memory skills. Carefully keeping track of characters in novels is a fine memory exercise. P-books encourage this.

Neophyte: Right. (After a long delay) This p-book does smell wonderful. Thank you for showing me your extraordinary invention.