List-Of-The-LostBad sex hunters, you need never hit another singles bar. Penguin Random House has taken care of it for you, by bringing you Morrissey the novelist. His List of the Lost, already debuted to ridicule as a new Penguin title, has now scooped the Literary Review‘s much-uncoveted Bad Sex in Fiction Award. The accolade was conferred at a gala dinner on December 1st, but according to the Literary Review, “Morrissey was unable to attend due to touring commitments and was unavailable for comment.”

Penguin Random House’s publication of Morrissey’s autobiography in 2013 as a Penguin Classic was already a new low in the debasement of a formerly great imprint in the hands of Big Publishing. Now Penguin Random House seems to be doing even better. From the Zoella ghostwriting scandal to Author Solutions, it seems there’s no depth they won’t plumb, no sleazy scam they won’t try, to turn a quick buck. And Morrissey looks, unwittingly, to be outdoing Zoella as the iconic figurehead for their race to the bottom.

Perhaps it’s a shame that the Ig Nobel Prizes haven’t yet extended from science to literature. Because if they had, then surely Morrissey would be a shoo-in for the first Ig Nobel Prize in Literature. And what kudos for Penguin Random House then, eh? The publishing house that brought you Ulysses and Lady Chatterley’s Lover – both obscene books in their time – now brings you List of the Lost. Hawt.


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